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I lead with vision, vengeance, and very strong coffee.

Regular price $17.99
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Teamwork makes the dream work—and the trauma bond.

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Micromanage me and I’ll micro-reply.

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Don’t mistake my calendar invite for enthusiasm.

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Delegation is just manifesting someone else doing it.

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I’m not a regular boss, I’m a borderline burnout case.

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Please hold—I’m busy pretending I didn’t see that Slack.

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Yes, I’m in the office. No, I’m not emotionally present.

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My give-a-damn broke somewhere between Q3 and this mug.

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Corporate culture: where your soul goes to get professionally gaslit.

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I’m not quiet quitting—I’m just silently plotting.

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I’m just here so I don’t get a performance improvement plan.

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